Twenty-Six Letters

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It’s a bit of a HEAD–trip to think that all books (in the English language) and all the moving prose that stir your dusty soul, all the soaring lyrics to songs that resonate deep into the core of your being – are just TWENTY-SIX letters, juggled, rearranged, and in turn, redefined.

Twenty six letters that when properly arranged hold the power to change lives or destroy them, to build up or tear down, to enlighten or delude and confuse.

Often, the small, everyday things we take for granted and overlook harbour the most power if we can learn how to use them skillfully.

The longer I’m in recovery the more I’m realizing that I always had the tools at my disposal to plan and orchestrate my escape from addiction, and in general, from struggling – like we all do.

I always had the same twenty-six letters that I have now.

It’s just that I was arranging them in all the wrong ways.

My p’s & q’s were confused and all my t’s were dotted and my i’s were crossed. Like most things end up in the chaotic underworld of addiction, everything turned up upside down and inside out.

It was as though I was trapped in a never-ending game of Scrabble and my tiles never seemed to spell anything. And, like most alcoholics, I was certain it was because the game was rigged and all my opponents were against me (this of course is when I could actually focus on the letters in front me).

It never dawned on me then that these were the tiles I had drawn for myself, and even if they had been given to me or doled out like a hand of cards – it was my responsibility to rearrange them and play them as best as I can.

To make sense of them and give meaning to what was in front of me.

In this big game of life we are all given the same twenty-six letters to work with. We all draw from the same big bag, and we all have the same board to play on. Granted, some tiles are harder to play than others, some of us are playing on boards that are battered and bruised with dog-eared corners and hand-me-down parts, and none of us have the instructions on how to play the game.

Which is the essence of the game right there.

We make it work.

We play the letters we can, when we can.

So long as we just keep playing.

We learn that sometimes if we can hold out and hold on, the right letters land in our lap.

And we learn to be patient, not only with ourselves, but with everyone else playing the game.

The thing with struggle and addiction is that it stops you from seeing what is in front of you, only showing the negative and reverse of everything: what is black appears white, and what is white turns to black. You stop seeing the letters you have to play with, and only see the letters you wish you had.

Or worse, the letters you once had but don’t have anymore.

It is up to you – and it is always up to you – as to how you choose to rearrange the letters you have to work with. It is up to you whether you choose to strengthen your patience, wait it out and pass, or trade in what is no longer working for you for the uncertainty, but possibility, of better letters instead.

And, it’s up to you to learn how to see what you have to work with, instead of what you’re working without.

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PS: For any of you who enjoy my writing or have snagged a copy of my new book, I would really love if you could spare a couple minutes to post a review on Amazon!

This will help my writing reach more people, and in turn, help more people, too. I don’t like asking for help, but here I am, because it will help a lot of people, just like us (and the royalties on books are super nominal, so this is also not about money!)

Thank you so much in advance!

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